Start Getting In Line To See Ja Rule Get Tortured

If you're reading this, it's already too late, as I've paid several hundred thousand people to start reserving spots in line for me to see Saw 4. You know why? Because Ja Rule gets tortured in the first scene!

"I’ve actually just read the script to the upcoming sequel, set to film in March, and the details I’ve given you are indeed true. The little girl i talk of is Jeff’s daughter… and you will be completely shocked when you see what Jeff and his daughter have to endure in Part 4. Actor, song writer, and rapper Ja Rule has also been cast to star in the films opening scene on the first day of shooting in Toronto. More details as I recieve."

Yes, Ja, I remember seeing you on TRL as a younger man, and holy Christ, even as a teenager I wished to see you impaled in several hilarious ways. Hope you enjoyed your three minutes in the spotlight, bro. Here's hoping there's fire and red-hot metal! Holler!