Waldo Won't Fucking Stop Getting Lost

Everyone take a second to squat and squeeze out a big, steaming thanks, fuckhead shit on someone important's lawn today. It's the only way to make sure the suits in Hollywood know how displeased the non-retarded people of the world are about the upcoming "Where's Waldo?" live adaptations. Awesome. Read this quote while I give myself a full-body paper cut.

"British media group Entertainment Rights Plc has acquired rights to the "Where's Waldo?" brand from series creator Martin Hanford. Entertainment Rights said Monday it plans to create new animated and live-action content that will launch worldwide in 2008 and 2009 but it wasn't clear if that would include a feature film."

A word about Waldo. This fucking shithead has been lost in the most inconvenient places for upwards of 20 years now! Call off the search! He's not goddamn worth it! Seriously, you think Waldo's wife and children want him back? It's not like he'd hold down a job; he'd get lost in the copy room and suddenly you'd look around and everyone within a ten mile radius would be wearing the same fucking hat and glasses. He's not just retarded. He's intentionally, maliciously retarded.