Prayers For New Ghostbusters Finally Answered

If you've spent any time amongst the youth of today's America, you'd know that in between the near-constant thump of techno music and the hazy cloud of ecstasy hits and flashing lights, there's one thing on the kids' minds.

Another motherfucking Ghostbusters movie.

And now, thanks to the tearful, high-pitched begging enthusiasm of series vet Dan Aykroyd, it looks like the project is picking up some steam.

"[Aykroyd]:""We go to the hell side of Manhattan, downtown, Foley Square. It's all where the cops are -- they are all blue minotaurs. Central Park is this huge peat mine with green demons there, surrounded by black onyx thousand-foot high apartment buildings with classic red devils, very wealthy. We go and visit a Donald Trump-like character who is Mr. Sifler. Luke Sifler. Lu-cifer. So we meet the devil in it. Now, it won't happen as a live-action, because Billy will not come on in the live-action stage anymore for it, but he will voice his part and we're looking to do it as a CGI-animated project. It lives. It lives today. Last year it didn't. This year it lives. With CGI animation and the way these cartoons are done, we can do everything I ever wrote in that script for much less money.""

Wow, that doesn't sound convoluted and shitty at all, Dan. Thanks for Coneheads, by the way.

It's a good thing that if it does happen, it'll probably happen in CGI. I realize that the rest of the American viewing public wouldn't want to watch the proposed third act of the live-action Ghostbusters 3 script, which involves Dan Aykroyd weeping and pissing himself for forty-five minutes.

That's already my computer's screen saver, so I'm used to it.