Cannibals Fucking Rule

It's an age of subtle filmmaking, people. We need restraint, maturity, and simple, talented feats of cinematic execution. Oh, and cannibals. Totally more cannibals.


"Relevant Entertainment will remake Italian helmer Ruggero Deodato's 1980 cult horror film "Cannibal Holocaust", a gorefest that's been banned in dozens of countries.

The story centers on a professor traveling to South America to find out what happened to a film crew that disappeared while shooting a documentary about reputed cannibal tribes."

I've got no problem with greenlighting this for movie production. In fact, I'd like a hell of a lot more feature-length pictures with "Holocaust" in the title.

Three Men and a Holocaust
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Holocaust
10 Things I Hate About The Holocaust
My Big Fat Greek Holocaust

The list goes on and on with hilarious, enjoyable titles for the whole family! No, really, my gripe with this is the premise. Let's go ahead and get this line of logic straight: a bunch of dudes you knew disappeared while filming a documentary about tribes that kill and eat human beings. For fun.

And you're going to go investigate? This is only slightly less plausible than willingly investigating your friends' disappearance in the chamber of the flying, burning sentient axes. "No, seriously, I think it'll be fine. What could've happened to them? Maybe they just got lost!"