Ghost Rider Is Suspiciously Absent

There is little in the known universe stronger than my faith in Nicholas Cage. Black holes, maybe. The angry, vengeful fist of God. Things like that. But for Rotten Tomatoes to insinuate that Ghost Rider is going to suck just because it's not screening for any critics and it sort of completely looks like it's going to suck, well, that's simply not fair.

"Here are some things to remember:

1. "Ghost Rider" was originally set to hit theaters amount eight months ago. The delay was reportedly caused by the need for extra FX work. We shall see.

2. "Ghost Rider" was directed by Mark Steven Johnson, the man who turned Marvel's "Daredevil" and "Elektra" into movie-type ... things.

3. The latest "Ghost Rider" trailer seems to be going more for tongue-in-cheek camp than intense action and evil curses and what-not."

Shit. Those aren't very good signs, are they? I remain resolutely unconvinced that the man who brought us modern classics like The Weather Man, City of Angels, Windtalkers, The Family Man, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, 8MM.....holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Has anyone been in more bad movies than this fucking clown?

And, of course, as the damning conclusion: