Johnny Depp! OMG!

In honor of the recent news that Johnny Depp's company will be developing a movie based on the life and suspicious death of a former KGB agent (as a starring vehicle for Johnny, it seems), MovieSlam is proud to publish our first ever interview with Mr. Depp, who was gracious enough to share a little of his time with us.

MovieSlam: Hi Johnny!

Depp: Hello.

MovieSlam: So...um...*blushing*

Depp: *smiles courteously*

MovieSlam: *loosening collar desperately* So...um...do you...like anything?

Depp: Do I like anything?

MovieSlam: I MEAN ANYONE, you know, um, do you like, um, anyone in the....the movie industry? ohgodIamsuchanidiot...

Depp: *leaning forward and placing hand reassuringly on interviewer's knee* Listen, it's okay. Just calm down and read your questions, okay? I'll try my best if you do.

MovieSlam: *breathing into a paper bag* Okay. Okay. *deep breath* Do you...do you want to go out sometime?

Depp: *narrows eyebrows and laughs nervously* I'm sorry?

MovieSlam: *slowly slipping straps of his shirt down over his shoulders*PLEASE JOHNNY I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOOOOOOOOD...

It really went downhill from that point. Thankfully, Mr. Depp has agreed not to press any charges, and my taser scars are well on the way to healing!