Samuel L Jackson Gets His Slam On

There's just really not a whole lot that I have to say about this one. Sam's reached a point in his life where he can walk out into the middle of rush-hour traffic, stop in the middle of the street, look menacingly both ways, and then slowly, deliberately take a huge, steaming shit on the pavement and no one would question him. Police officers watching the scene unfold would just cross their arms in admiration, murmuring, "Sweet baby jesus, what I wouldn't give for a moment or two of life with his balls, man." Mothers would hold their children up high over the gathering crowd, so that their tiny, awe-struck eyes could catch a more unobstructed view of Sam's feces.

And then he'd be gone, in a sudden, mysterious cloud of smoke. And the legend would grow.

Seriously, what can the man not do? Snakes On A Plane? Could Sam Jackson, at this height of badassness, get on the set of. say, Headline News and just start slamfucking white girls and shooting things in the face with an assault rifle, cackling drunkenly all the while? What is the limit? And furthermore, why isn't he running for motherfucking president?