New Die Hard Fucks Terrorists In The Ass

Enough of this pussy-ass Hostel shit. Give me Bruce Willis (seen above pondering which whippersnapper stole his arthritis medicine and cane), and give me Bruce Willis sending a burning mac-truck spiraling into the waiting asshole of a freedom-hating terrorist. Yay, new Die Hard! Check out the trailer, bitches.

I don't even care what this movie's about. I know two things:

1) Bruce Willis is going to kill a lot of people, and he's gonna kill 'em good.

2) Things are going to blow the fuck up.

I'm going to smuggle a t-bone steak wrapped in an American flag into the theater when this comes out. And I'm going to shout the lyrics to the national anthem while cheerleaders shower me in beer and eat my fucking meat, because Die Hard is a fucking American institution, and I'm excited.