Nobody Likes Vin Diesel Anymore
Vin Diesel, pictured above showing how much of a sad panda he is, is apparently out as the star in the upcoming adaptation of the video game Hitman, according to Dark Horizons.
"AICN reports that "Deadwood" star Timothy Olyphant is now attached to play the man known as Agent 47, an assassin for hire, whose skills place him in high demand for jobs. Vin Diesel was previously mentioned as the lead."
When reached for comment by MovieSlam, Vin Diesel chucked an empty bottle of Jack Daniels at us and screamed, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM? I'M FUCKING RIDDICK! I CAN SEE IN THE FUCKING DARK, YOU FUCKING FUCKS! I DON'T NEED FUCKING HITMANFUCKING FUCK! FUCK! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
He then passed out in what appeared to be a pile of his own collected feces and vomit.
Labels: Vin Diesel
posted by KS at
3:32 PM
1 Comments:
TIMOTHY OLYPHANT?!?!
His biggest credit to date is his role as The Biggest Pussy in Deadwood. That's if you forget about his tour-de-force performance as Drunken Guy Getting His Penis Eaten by Aliens in the perennial classic "Dreamcatcher."
he is [i]not[/i] a postman.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home