Toy Story Continues To Be Way Too Fucking Long Of A Story

In news that takes the unwise step of pushing me even closer to total, uncontrollable madness, there will be another Toy Story:

""Toy Story 3" is coming in 2009 said Disney Pictures at an investor conference on Thursday reports Variety.

Pixar reps provided extensive details on the project which "Finding Nemo" and "Toy Story 2" co-director Lee Unkrich will helm solely this time around. Michael Arndt ("Little Miss Sunshine") is penning the script."

Here's what I don't get about these movies. There's been two movies about these fucking toys, and not a single goddamn one of them has gotten a catastrophic, malicious haircut / scalping. Furthermore, is there anyone out there who didn't cut their toys in half with a machete regularly? It's awful tough for Woody and Buzz Lightyear to be so chipper and cute when they're reduced to screaming, helpless toy torsos.

Perhaps that was just a regional thing.

Chipmunks Somehow Even More Annoying in CGI

Sometimes, even the most hard-hearted, cynical asshole has to lay down his guard and admit that those boys in Hollywood sure know how to greenlight only the movies most obviously bound for success. Take the Alvin and the Chipmunks adaptation for instanceOHGODOHGOD I'M FUCKING BLIND FROM LYING. I HAVE LITERALLY LOST THE USE OF BOTH OF MY EYES FROM SPEAKING FRADULENTLY ABOUT ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS AND ALL THAT IS LEFT IS BURNING.

"Tim Hill ("Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties") is in talks with Fox 2000 about helming the live-action/CG-animated film "Alvin and the Chipmunks". Fox is expected to cast a comic actor in the role of Dave Seville, pal to the three chipmunks, Alvin, Simon and Theodore, who will be computer generated versions of the famous 50's animated trio..."

*rubs eyes carefully*

I...I just can't believe this is happening...some fuckhead actually thought that the world would be happier if we had more annoying-ass, singing chipmunks. Hve you ever been happy after watching a chipmunk? The answer is this: THERE'S NO REASON TO BE WATCHING CHIPMUNKS. THEY'RE FUCKING RODENTS.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the vengeful lord above has taken my sight. I hate you, Alvin and the Chipmunks movie producers. I hate you.