David Blaine Seriously Hates Himself

I realize this has nothing to do with movies, but I figure if I have to know about it, everyone else should be told about the latest details regarding alleged entertainer David Blaine's upcoming stunt:

"David Blaine will spend two days in a spinning gyroscope before attempting to escape from shackles in his latest public stunt. The illusionist revealed his new plans for the New York stunt, which begins later this month, at a press conference on Friday. The 33-year-old will be locked spread eagle into a gyroscope before being dangled 50 feet above Times Square in New York. Blaine will be spun up to eight times every minute for two days, after which he will begin his attempt to escape. Adding more difficulty to the stunt, the 'open' gyroscope will leave Blaine exposed to the harsh New York winter. He says, 'Just to make it more difficult on myself, I added a motor (to the gyroscope), so even when I'm sleeping there'll be continuous movement... I think I'm going to have to stay awake the whole time. This one's exciting for me. This one's a fun one.'"

I like magic. Really, I do. Magic tricks, with bunnies and top hats and smoke and the statue of liberty disappearing are the cat's meow as far as I'm concerned. But allow me to be clear: THIS IS NOT MAGIC, and THIS IS NOT IMPRESSIVE. Imagine someone came up to you and excitedly said, "Hey! I've got an idea for a feat of endurance! I'm gonna spin around until I get REALLY DIZZY!" Would you start screaming in anticipation and tossing money at them? No, you'd probably give them a sad smile and pat them on the head, inwardly reminding yourself to tell your sane friends about the "character" you met on the subway earlier that day. The one that stunk of human feces.

If you really want to impress us, Dave, I have an idea for a public stunt. It's called "Hit Yourself In The Balls! With A Hammer!"