Peter Jackson Tells Hobbits To Go Fuck Themselves

In a move that will undoubtedly send packs of geeks streaming off of cliffs like the lemmings that they are, Peter Jackson says he's not doing any more Lord of the Rings movies.

Think about it this way. No, you'll never again be able to watch a 33-hour extended edition of a Tolkien movie ("Featuring deleted scenes! Watch Gollum take a fucking shit!"), and you'll never again have a good excuse to put Liv Tyler in a skimpy outfit and elf ears (though she'll probably end up doing that before her career is over anyway). But on the positive side, this is yet another precursor to Orlando Bloom's career spiraling into drug-riddled obscurity.

And let's face it, friends, the day that we finally see him, on the Surreal Life 87, living with Verne Troyer, Tommy Lee, and Kevin Federline will be the absolute peak of western civilization.