Tobey Maguire Wants To Move On

Tobey Maguire has announced that he's done with Spiderman movies. Playing the lead in the most successful superhero series in movie history, you must realize, is literally boring enough to make one's brain crawl, moaning in pain, out of one's skull through the ear canal. It's not a pleasant experience, is it Tobey?

""To me it seems like this is a natural point for the team to break up because we have a lot of story conclusions that were going along for the main characters for the first two movies and we kind of tie almost everything up for the third movie," he tells The Courier Mail.

"It feels like a trilogy to me and it feels like the end" he adds. The comments match those of co-star Kirsten Dunst and director Sam Raimi who both seem to feel that this will be their last involvement in the franchise."

Maguire will now move on to other, far more interesting dramatic roles - A retarded clown, perhaps? Is there anyone who wouldn't pay to see that? - and hoping against hope that people don't ask him to do a Spiderman impression on the street.

Passerby: Hey! You're Spiderman, right? Yeah, I know you from the movies!
Tobey Maguire: Oh, well, thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed the films.
Passerby: Yeah, yeah! Hey, do that dance from the Spidey movie!
Tobey:...The dance? I don't think that there was a dance, actua-
Passerby: (brandishing pistol) Dance.