Vinnie Jones Wants To Fuck The Shit Out of You

This is easily the best news I've heard in my entire life. Obvious serial killer Vinnie Jones is going to star as a serial killer in - get this - a movie called Midnight Meat Train. I'm jumping up and down with excitement about this, honestly.

"Jones will portray Mahogany, a serial killer who rides the midnight subways, looking for victims to butcher before the train reaches the last stop.

Leslie Bibb and Brooke Shields have also taken roles in the film scheduled to begin production next month in Los Angeles."

I'm really not even sure this is a real movie. Part of me thinks this is the best name for a porn I've ever heard of, but another part of me thinks that Vinnie Jones, in his constant hunger for flesh, thought to himself, "If I send out a casting call, I can lure hundreds of cast and crew members to the cave! I WILL HAVE MANFLESH THIS NIGHT!" This is just the best fake name Vinnie could come up with besides Vinnie's Going To Kill Your Ass For Dinner.

So, I guess what I'm saying if you're interested in seeing Brooke Shields before she's been mega-raped to death, you had better stop by her house and say hello before this movie starts shooting.